Checks My Phone: This is Abuse

All month, we have talked about different ways an abuser gains or maintains power and control over another person. Some of what we’ve discussed may be behaviors you are familiar with, while others are not as commonly recognized as abusive.

This week’s theme is, “Checks My Phone.” This is an abusive behavior that may be overlooked because it seems to happen often in intimate relationships, but it may create an environment where the victim feels trapped, intimidated, or on edge.

Our phones are almost another physical space we occupy – through social media, our conversations with friends and family, the content we watch, etc. As with any of our other physical spaces, people need permission before entering.

Some people may decide to give their partner access to their phone or mutually agree that they’re fine with their phones being a shared space. However, a person should never be demanding to go through your phone or going through it without permission. If you give permission but only because of being coerced or forced, this is not real permission.

Checking your phone, intimidating you into showing your phone, or otherwise disrespecting your privacy and boundaries – this is abuse.

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